Monday, August 4, 2008

Emotional Roller Coaster

I have really enjoyed hearing how everyone spends their Couple Time. Keep them coming! (Read Couple Time).

Last night was the last youth group for our graduating seniors. Up until last night, I've held it together and have been the one to comfort those that are crying and reassure them that things will change but it won't be worse - and yes youth group will go on without them.

Matt decided to have a worship night with scripture reading instead of our typical service. He set up the youth room with rows of chairs and then had couches in the back. Of course, our students rushed to the couches. I was up front running the powerpoint so I had little control and really wasn't aware of what Matt's plans were.

Those students need to come sit up front on the chairs or they won't pay attention and won't have a good worship experience. I kept thinking this and started to obsess over where they were sitting and if Matt was going to say something. Suddenly I felt the Lord whisper to my heart:

God: Anne, do you not think that I could reach their hearts even on a couch?

Me: Of course I do! But how will I know that they are paying attention and participating?

God: It doesn't matter...they don't answer to you.

In that moment, I felt helpless and only capable of surrendering them over to God. It's a good thing they don't answer to me because I am incapable of showering them with love, forgiveness and mercy like Christ does.

It was also in that moment that it hit me the seniors were leaving and they were no longer going to have the "safety" of our youth group family. I was no longer going to have the same relationship with these students. All I could do was cry and pray that God would continue to hold onto them in this new season of life.

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