Opposite Sex: Emotional Purity

For the last four weeks, Matt has been doing a series called "Opposite Sex" with our high school students. He's been talking about guy and girl relationships and how God calls us to a lifestyle that is "Opposite" of culture's. Tonight, he preached from Genesis 29:1-30:24, the story of Jacob, Leah and Rachel. I had always seen Jacob's pursuit and waiting of Rachel as romantic or sweet, but in actuality Jacob waisted 14 years of his life, pining over this woman. Really interesting perspective!

After Matt's message, we split the kids up between guys and girls. I was really praying about how to drive home this message of purity -- both emotional and physical. God reminded me of this great visual that I had read about on Heather Patenaude's Emotional Purity Blog. So last minute (while Matt was preaching) I ran around to grab supplies and kind of made this analogy my own.

I gave each girl a heart and I asked them to write out what makes them special or unique. Some of the things girls wrote down were: family, God, spaghetti, a boyfriend, friends, concerts, singing, plays, individuality, and so on. They covered their heart with these words.

Then, I gave them a black piece of paper with the word boyfriend across the top. I gave them each a glue stick and asked them to glue their heart to boy #1, their "high school sweetheart". I used Heather's term of "heart glue" and how when we have a relationship with a guy, we stick to them -- even if we are "just friends" but act like boyfriend and girlfriend without the title.

I said that statistically they will break up with their "high school sweetheart" and so we ripped the heart off after 5 minutes. Several girls left quite a bit of their hearts behind, while others seemed to get their full heart back. But what was interesting was all the black on the back of their hearts. We talked about how they may look good on the outside, but on the inside they still have a connection to that guy.

We continued to do this with boy #2 (their college boyfriend) and boy #3. By this time, their hearts were paper thin, ripped or barely there. It was interesting to hear what the girls had "left behind" with the guys. One girl said, "Boy #2 has God!" While another said, "Individuality was left with boy #3." The conversation was running rampant with this analogy! It was so awesome!

Finally, I gave them a white piece of

paper with the word "husband" across the top. I asked them to glue their heart onto this piece of paper. One girl said, "My heart can't take this anymore, I'm using extra glue so it doesn't come off!" Another girl's heart looked completely "normal" but she saw that you could see all the black on the back of the heart through the white paper. We talked about what was left for your future spouse -- a broken and grimy heart. But we also made sure to talk about the restoration of God and how he can even use broken, gross hearts and create an awesome marriage! I wanted the girls to see that the decisions they make now may seem harmless or "fun" but they can have lasting consequences.

Finally, I encouraged them to start praying for their future husband. I told them that somewhere out there was a guy going on his own journey. This was the perfect time to start praying for him! I shared that I had started a prayer journal for my future husband in Jr High and actually gave it to Matt as a gift on our wedding day. Its really interesting to see the things God placed on my heart to be praying about and how Matt may have been facing a situation in his life at that moment that needed my specific prayer. Or how I only prayed for my husband's sisters, never any brothers. Matt has two sister, no brothers. Back to tonight, I gave each girl a print out that my youth pastor's wife had given me of a prayer for your future husband. You can find a copy here.

All in all, it was an awesome night and it seemed to really drive home this whole month's discussion on Opposite Sex. So, thank you Heather for sharing that craft idea so long ago! It definitely came in handy tonight!

Pictures are from Heather's blog, not from our experience tonight. But they basically looked the same :)

Heart Glue

My mom always told me when I was younger that my heart was like a piece of pie and each time I was in a "serious" relationship I was giving a piece of my "pie" away. I was reading my friend Heather's Emotional Purity blog and she blogged about another awesome visual regarding emotional purity:

Are you looking for a craft to help your pre-teen or young teen understand the concept of emotional purity?

Yesterday, I taught the 7th grade girls at our church. I knew I needed a good visual aid for them and this craft idea came to me.

I gave them each a heart with the words: emotions, feelings, dreams, goals, respect, trust, hopes, passions, and devotion written all over the heart.

Then I gave them a black piece of construction paper with boyfriends written on the top of it. I explained that emotional purity is about guarding your heart, saving it for your mate.

Then I glued their heart to their "high school sweet heart". I explained that our hearts have the ability to stick to boys, I call it heart glue. About five minutes laters we tore the heart off of the boyfriend.

They didn't like how much black they took on their heart and how much red was left on the black paper. I told them that their hearts are left with who ever they date and don't marry.

Then we glued their hearts to their "college boyfriend". He stayed put for about 10 minutes, which allowed it to really dry. When the girls "broke-up" with him, a lot of their hearts tore or ripped.

Then I glued a third boyfriend to their black paper. By this time, most of their hearts were thin, ripped and far from well put together.

As I was sharing more of the concept of emotional purity the girls started picking at the red paper that was left behind on the other two boyfriends. As they were picking I said, "See you're trying to get your heart back, but it's stuck with that boyfriend."

Finally, they ripped their heart off one last time.

At that time I pulled out a white piece of paper with husband written on the top of it. I went around and glued their ripped, thinned hearts on to their husbands.

Here are pictures of the one I tried at home before class:

I finally gave them a piece of paper with a perfect heart glued on to a paper that said husband. I wrote these two verses: Prov. 31:12: She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. And Prov. 4:23: Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.

I heald up the ripped up heart on one husband and the perfect heart of the second paper. I explained that these are their choices, to save their heart or not.