Opposite Sex: Emotional Purity

For the last four weeks, Matt has been doing a series called "Opposite Sex" with our high school students. He's been talking about guy and girl relationships and how God calls us to a lifestyle that is "Opposite" of culture's. Tonight, he preached from Genesis 29:1-30:24, the story of Jacob, Leah and Rachel. I had always seen Jacob's pursuit and waiting of Rachel as romantic or sweet, but in actuality Jacob waisted 14 years of his life, pining over this woman. Really interesting perspective!

After Matt's message, we split the kids up between guys and girls. I was really praying about how to drive home this message of purity -- both emotional and physical. God reminded me of this great visual that I had read about on Heather Patenaude's Emotional Purity Blog. So last minute (while Matt was preaching) I ran around to grab supplies and kind of made this analogy my own.

I gave each girl a heart and I asked them to write out what makes them special or unique. Some of the things girls wrote down were: family, God, spaghetti, a boyfriend, friends, concerts, singing, plays, individuality, and so on. They covered their heart with these words.

Then, I gave them a black piece of paper with the word boyfriend across the top. I gave them each a glue stick and asked them to glue their heart to boy #1, their "high school sweetheart". I used Heather's term of "heart glue" and how when we have a relationship with a guy, we stick to them -- even if we are "just friends" but act like boyfriend and girlfriend without the title.

I said that statistically they will break up with their "high school sweetheart" and so we ripped the heart off after 5 minutes. Several girls left quite a bit of their hearts behind, while others seemed to get their full heart back. But what was interesting was all the black on the back of their hearts. We talked about how they may look good on the outside, but on the inside they still have a connection to that guy.

We continued to do this with boy #2 (their college boyfriend) and boy #3. By this time, their hearts were paper thin, ripped or barely there. It was interesting to hear what the girls had "left behind" with the guys. One girl said, "Boy #2 has God!" While another said, "Individuality was left with boy #3." The conversation was running rampant with this analogy! It was so awesome!

Finally, I gave them a white piece of

paper with the word "husband" across the top. I asked them to glue their heart onto this piece of paper. One girl said, "My heart can't take this anymore, I'm using extra glue so it doesn't come off!" Another girl's heart looked completely "normal" but she saw that you could see all the black on the back of the heart through the white paper. We talked about what was left for your future spouse -- a broken and grimy heart. But we also made sure to talk about the restoration of God and how he can even use broken, gross hearts and create an awesome marriage! I wanted the girls to see that the decisions they make now may seem harmless or "fun" but they can have lasting consequences.

Finally, I encouraged them to start praying for their future husband. I told them that somewhere out there was a guy going on his own journey. This was the perfect time to start praying for him! I shared that I had started a prayer journal for my future husband in Jr High and actually gave it to Matt as a gift on our wedding day. Its really interesting to see the things God placed on my heart to be praying about and how Matt may have been facing a situation in his life at that moment that needed my specific prayer. Or how I only prayed for my husband's sisters, never any brothers. Matt has two sister, no brothers. Back to tonight, I gave each girl a print out that my youth pastor's wife had given me of a prayer for your future husband. You can find a copy here.

All in all, it was an awesome night and it seemed to really drive home this whole month's discussion on Opposite Sex. So, thank you Heather for sharing that craft idea so long ago! It definitely came in handy tonight!

Pictures are from Heather's blog, not from our experience tonight. But they basically looked the same :)

Completely His

Every woman needs to run out and purchase her own copy of this book "Completely His" by Shannon Etheridge!

It is an incredible read! She had me crying in the first few pages and I was completely hooked and challenged throughout the rest of it. I picked it up yesterday (yes...yesterday) at Borders and was crying in Borders! :) I've never read any of Shannon's other books so I've never heard any of her story...it was riveting!

Here's a review from Publishers Weekly:
Ethridge, bestselling author of the Every Woman's Battle series, begins this book on God's limitless love by recounting the horrific moment when she accidentally killed a woman while behind the wheel. Ethridge's vivid memory of the sorrow she caused as a new teen driver doesn't stop at the tragedy's harrowing details but focuses on the amazingly gracious forgiveness and affirmation she received from the victim's spouse. So sets the stage for this guide where Ethridge uses generous portions of scripture to convince doubt-ridden, wounded women of their intrinsic worth to God. To demonstrate, she draws upon the spiritual metaphor of a love relationship: falling in love, a tender proposal, the forsaking of all others, love languages, wedding surprises and the tossing of the bouquet. Particularly poignant is when she shares her personal epiphany that God had transformed her greatest stumbling block—that of her previous sexual sins—into the vehicle for demonstrating how God had changed her. Ethridge challenges women to accept the "wedding" gifts from a loving God who offers redemption from the past, resurrection power for today and a heavenly home in eternity. While the book is engaging and soulful, many of Ethridge's personal accounts have been published elsewhere and might feel stale to some loyal readers.

Light Bulb

It was my birthday last week -- 24 wasn't that big of a deal. It kind of passed by...no significance. However, Matt did get me a Wii with help from my parents and his mom. My arm has been pretty sore. :)

My mom came to visit this week because she had a speaking engagement in town and she brought another gift. This is a little book she's been writing in throughout the years of fun little things that she wanted to remember about my childhood, or letters to me. Pretty cool! I thought it would be fun to share an excerpt from one of these:

March 3, 1994
Anne,
Today you pulled the "thermometer by the lightbulb" trick. The thermometer showed 106 degrees. Needless to say, you should have been on your deathbed with a temperature like that! Oh well, I asked you 2 times how the temperature got that high. Finally, you lowered your head and said "the lightbulb". I think your own embarassment was enough punishment. I don't think you'll try this again. P.S. I did it when I was about 9 years old too. :)

Love,
Mom

PPS. You said you were sick, but you really weren't. You just wanted to be home with mom and Erica.

Hahaha...reading that brought me back to that moment and I suddenly remembered it so clearly. Its so fun to read little things like that about your childhood. I'm sure some of you have tried the thermometer trick at one point or another. ;)

Don't Know What To Call This...

I had an emotional melt down last night...I can't imagine what was going on in Matt's brain at the time but he was so patient with me.

As I was driving home last night, I talked to my mom about Evan's wedding and how we are leaving today for Matt's hometown and when I got off the phone I had a wave of emotion hit me like a ton of bricks. Instantly, I missed living close to family. Matt and I pulled into the driveway at the same time and he opened my door only to find tears running down my face. I silently cried all the way into the house but once Matt asked me what was wrong -- a fresh wave of tears and sobs poured out. He just hugged me as I cried and cried and cried.

Matt: Let's go sit down.

Me: (As I was sobbing) No, we have to clean the house.

Me: (Taking a deep breath as I let out a loud sob) But I don't want to clean! (as a full sob session begins again -- mind you...this has nothing to do with cleaning my house and I still have no clue why suddenly that is what came out of my mouth)

I was so exhausted and emotionally wasted that nothing was making sense and Matt just hugged me again as the sobbing continued. What a guy! He stayed up extremely late cleaning my house and doing laundry as I slept. Its in the really hard times that I am especially thankful that I have such a supportive and understanding husband!

27 Dresses - Reality Check!

Preparation for Girls small group has been looming in front of me for several days. Through different circumstances, I am now the only person leading for the summer, so prep is all on me. I began to really dread it, so I just decided that last night was going to be a "Girls Night". I rented 27 Dresses and got Ice Cream and toppings. (You can't have a Girls Night without junk food!)

It was a lot of fun hanging out with my girls and watching the movie. It sparked conversation and brought out the girly side in all of us. A funny thing started to happen at all of the romantic parts - a collective "AWWW!" would erupt throughout my apartment. The "AWWW!" said so much more than, Isn't that sweet!. Each girl has a desire to be pursued like that - but many times how we dream of it happening - and how its portrayed in movies - is perfection. Perfection isn't reality.

"It doesn't happen like this in real life" I yelled out. "Says the girl who got proposed to on the Eiffel Tower" one of my girls said. Sure, that moment was awesome and Matt reminds me often of what a great job he did. But that incredible moment lasted seconds, then back to reality! How do I talk to my girls about this and make sure they hear me? I couldn't come up with anything brilliant (How did my youth pastors' wives do that? They always came up with something brilliant that would challenge me in that moment and stuck with me forever!) but at least the conversation was started.

Matt and I are pretty transparent with our students - we don't fake perfection. Several of our students don't have parents that have healthy relationships - so ours is the only one they're exposed to. We've talked with them about how hard relationships are and that they take a lot of work. It was pretty cool when I heard through the grapevine that one of our students had said she wanted a marriage like ours.

Whether we realize it or not - teenagers are watching and listening! Let's just hope that what they are soaking up isn't perceived perfection - but hard-working-and-rewarding reality.

Compassion International - Are My Letters Important?

I have recently discovered the Compassion International Blog. I would encourage you, whether or not you have sponsored a child, to check it out. Its a glimpse into a wonderful organization and stories from around the world!

They have been talking about whether or not our letters are important. I am more and more convinced that they are crucial. In fact, I am going to take that one step further. I think letter writing is important period! My mother-in-law is great at sending cards. If for any reason she has to send us a package or something by mail, she always finds these great cards to go along with. They make us feel special!

I have a card that my mom wrote to me when I was in fourth grade that she sent while I was at camp. My dad sent me some cards for every single day of one of my mission trips back in high school. I have kept every single one.

A few months ago, I sent one of my students a card. When she saw me next, she was so excited because that was the first card she had ever received! Letter writing speaks love and care because it took time and you truly thought of that person!

Moral of today's post...I would encourage you to pick up a pen and paper today and write to someone! :)

Heart Beat

At Girls Small Group last night, we read Galatians 4:1-7. It took us an hour and a half to go through seven verses! Misty did a great job of preparing for teaching last night! There are a lot of awesome things in these seven verses but one in particular has stuck with me and I have continued to mull over.

Galatians 4

1What I am saying is that as long as the heir is a child, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate. 2He is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father. 3So also, when we were children, we were in slavery under the basic principles of the world. 4But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, 5to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. 6Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba,^[a] Father." 7So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.

Verse 6 is what has been going over and over in my mind. "God sent the Spirit of his Son (the Holy Spirit) into our hearts". So the Holy Spirit is a part of us and indwells in us. Then the cool part..."the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father". So we have the Holy Spirit in our hearts and the Holy Spirit cries out "Abba Father!" For me, it makes sense why we have this natural draw or longing for our heavenly father. We have the holy spirit within us who is crying out for Him!

To Remember Me By...

I found a CD the other day that Matt had made for me when I left for Paris. We were saying our goodbyes in the airport and he handed me a CD with a note attached. I waited until I got to the terminal to open it up and I was a mess! I started bawling as I listened to the CD and read his sweet note. It was the perfect CD! It brings back so many memories of Paris and of my love for Matt. He truly is an incredible man!

Listening to the CD made me remember back to his proposal. Here is an excerpt of what I wrote on my blog:

So last week a friend of mine asked me to go to a birthday party for a friend of hers on the Eiffel Tower on Friday the 11th of November. So this whole time I'm thinking "I'm going to a party for somebody I don't know on the Eiffel Tower" It is a gorgeous, clear night and I was so excited to go up the tower for the FIRST TIME EVER! We get to the second floor and Jen (my friend) is taking my picture and all of the sudden Matt is standing right beside her!!!! I screamed and started freaking out! I couldn't believe it! I had NO idea!!! So we were standing there hugging and I'm completely blown away and then Matt starts telling me how much he loves me and that he knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Who knows what else he said because I totally started freaking out on the inside. Then he said, "Anne Elaine Savage, will you marry me?" And of course I said "Yes!" All the people around us started to cheer and clap! I still couldn't believe he was here! I turned to my friends and said, "Is there a party?" And they all laughed and said, "No!" When Matt and I were going down the elevator this couple turned to us and said, "Congratulations! We saw it all happen! We hope you have an amazing life together!" Then Matt lifted up my hand and shouted in the elevator car, "We just got engaged! I don't speak french...(in a french accent) engaged!" I'm on cloud nine! I can't believe how many people knew about this and kept it a secret! It was the absolutely PERFECT proposal and I can't believe he flew all the way to Paris for me! September 3, 2006!!!!! WOOHOO!!!

The best part was Matt and my friends had cameras ready so I have pictures to remember it by...Enjoy!

My Weekend

Wow...what a weekend! Hearts at Home was incredible! We had a wonderful weekend serving moms and the best part was being able to hang out all weekend with my mom. We got to share a hotel room and the first night we stayed up and just talked for a few hours. It was so nice!

Matt was in his hometown all weekend visiting family and going to the playoff football game. Then, he went to Bloomington last night for the college group and to visit some friends. So, I came home to an empty house. Well, my subway didn't agree with me and I lost all of my lunch. (It had a weird taste to it and as I was eating it I thought "I think I might get food poisoning")

Anyway...I was puking and missing home, and the worst part was most everyone I loved and cared about was in Bloomington! I was exhausted and couldn't stop crying for a good two hours. I called my mom and asked her to pray with me (as I am bawling and snot is running down my nose). She prayed that I would seek God's word for my comfort and peace.

Randomly, I turned to Jonah in the Bible. In the last chapter of Jonah, he is really angry with God's compassionate heart for saving Nineveh. He goes out and lies underneath a shaded area and watches the city. God provides a vine that grows and provides shade, but overnight the vine dies. It becomes really hot and Jonah exclaims that he wants to die.

10 But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?"

As I was reading this, I really felt like God was saying to me "Anne, I have a purpose for you and Matt here in Zion, IL. I care about the people here and you are two of my many vessels! It is my timing! Have peace and patience!"

I went right to sleep after that and when I woke up today I had fresh (and puffy) eyes!

That's Who I Am!

Matt and I were eating at Texas Roadhouse last night and one of my favorite songs came on, "Who I Am" by Jessica Andrews. It was such a timely reminder for me. This past year there have been so many changes in my life. I became a wife, moved away from home permanently, got my own home for the first time, started a new job and became a pastor's wife, just to name a few. My brother, Evan, called me last night and said, "Anne Elaine Savage!" then paused and said "Oops...sorry! Anne Elaine McClane!" My friend Emilie once asked me, which name do you identify with the most? What a hard question! More and more I relate myself to Anne McClane...but there are moments when I relate to Anne Savage. Talk about a year-long identity crisis!

But last night at dinner, it was a reminder that it really doesn't matter what my name is. I am a child of God first and foremost. My identity is in Him! I don't think it matters to Him what name I have.

Check out the lyrics to the song!

Music Video:WHO I AM (by Jessica Andrews)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Weekend in Indy

We had a crazy busy weekend in Indy but it was great to see family! My brother Evan and I got to talking about this pizza place my grandparents took us to alot when we were kids called "Pizza King". The entire place looks like a train station and each table has nintendo you can play for a quarter, and they bring your drinks by train to your table. Pretty cool! So we decided to take all of the kids there for a little "reminiscing".

Its funny how things don't quite live up to your memories. It was a little run-down, they no longer have nintendo...you just have to pay a quarter to watch tv, the train still brings your drinks but its lost its spark. But it was still fun to walk down memory lane!

I also got to see one of my best friends Addie this weekend. She and her husband, Eric, were to be married two weeks after us, but in May '06 found out that he was being deployed to Iraq. So, they moved up the wedding and were married for two or three days before he left! He was gone a little over a year and just got back about a month ago. They decided to celebrate both their marriage and his homecoming with a reception for friends and family. Since I couldn't make the wedding, it was so nice to be there for them this time!

Patience is a virtue...

that I do not necessarily find very easy to possess. I am ashamed to say that Matt has been a victim of my impatience and irritation on more than one occasion. (sorry babe!) I was looking through my pictures on my computer and I came across a photo that instantly reminds me of how impatient and critical I can be.

Yes, this photo may seem unassuming and weird, but it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it! Here's the little story behind it...Matt and I were driving home from the Thirsty Conference in Atlanta, GA. It was about midnight so we pulled over for one last stop before we drove another few hours to Indianapolis to stay with my family. I sat in the car waiting for Matt for what seemed like 20 minutes (I'm sure it was 5, but at midnight things get distorted). I began to get worried. I tried going inside, but the door was locked and the lady told me, "I'm sorry but we are closed!" I tried explaining to her that my husband was inside the bathroom but she was adamant that no one was inside the gas station beside her and her coworker. I started freaking out...I was sitting in the middle of nowhere, at midnight, in my car alone and had no idea where Matt was...I was sure he had been killed!

After a few moments, I decided to go in a plead with the lady to let me just check the bathrooms. She was really frustrated with me and once again reminded me that they were closed but I could go check.

I go back and knock on the mens restroom and hear Matt say "Someone is in here!" I tried yelling through the door to let him know that the gas station was closed and he needed to hurry it along. I go back to tell the lady that yes, indeed my husband is in the bathroom. I am beginning to feel very antsy and frustrated as she gives me a dirty look. Out comes Matt; he walks up to me and asks me for my camera. My camera! Its midnight, the lady is mad at me, I thought he was dead and he is asking for my camera!?!?! I asked him why and he told me he wanted to take a picture for a sermon illustration. I couldn't imagine what he would want to take a picture of in that gross gas-station bathroom.

I handed over the camera (letting him know how upset I was) and stormed out to the car. A few moments later, he came out and showed me this photo. A photo of a dear in a forest. He thought it was funny because this pretty framed picture was in a gross gas-station bathroom. I was steaming! For the rest of the car ride, you could cut the tension with a knife...and it was all my fault!

I could have been more flexible and I could have explained to him what was going on. I could have been relieved to know my husband was alive. I could have decided not to care what the lady thought of me...but instead I lashed out on my husband. I learned a lot that night.

I haven't perfected patience and grace by any means, but Matt is really challenging me in that area of my life. And I think that is what marriage is all about! Challenging each other in their faults, but loving them just the same! In those moments, I get so frustrated that Matt is challenging me, but at the same time I am really glad he isn't letting me stay the same.

This World Has Nothing For Me...

Do you ever have a moment where you think you've heard something and you double back and listen incredulously? That has happened twice this morning already, while listening to the radio.

The first radio commercial was for a divorce lawyer. It was a couple telling you how this specific lawyer can help you get divorced more quickly. As you continue to listen to them, they begin to argue and yell at each other, while promoting this speedy divorce lawyer. Basically, by the end of the spot, they are ready for this lawyer to end their marriage right then and there. My heart hurt just listening to it. I could not believe what I was hearing!

The second time was about five minutes later and it was a promotion for Father's Day. Fathers, ages 18 and above, would get half price off an event on Sunday. Did you catch that? Fathers had to be 18 and above!!! How sad is it that we have to specify how old a father can be in order to participate in something...or how "normal" that seemed to sound.

It saddens me the world we live in. As my mom says, "There's a God-shaped void in all of us and we all struggle with the temptation to fill that void with other things.

Lone Sock in a Dryer

To some of my favorite girls in the world:

Being single is challenging. Single women often feel like the lone sock lying in the dryer – left there until its mate is found. They're in a holding pattern, left lying somewhere until they get a mate. They feel there must be something wrong with them – that God has abandoned them or forgotten them.

Being single is just a state of being, not a life-sentence. Singles are not one sock waiting for another sock before they become useful. Rather than waiting to become the spouse they would like to be, they need to find their fulfillment in becoming the individual God intended them to be.

Finding Joy Again!

Matt and I got home late Saturday night from our trip down to Atlanta, with a few stops there and back. We went to Passion's Leadership Conference, Thirsty, and it was awesome for both of us! I really needed an infusion of some sort. Basically, I've been doing doing doing and going going going for God without stopping to have an intimate relationship with him.

Friday night, they celebrated communion. I've never had an hour long communion time, but it was incredible! They were talking about how communion is just a meal time with Christ and he asks us to come, eat and receive (obviously I'm trying to sum up in three words what they talked about for an hour). Yes, the sermon was great, but the quiet was incredible!

I just closed my eyes and pictured myself laying my head on God's lap. He ran his fingers through my hair and said, "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on. Why are you struggling to find joy?" With tears running down my face, I found true intimacy with my creator! He truly cares for my deepest fears and hurts and my huge dreams. In fact, I realized he's the one who gave me those dreams. He is the Dream and Desire Giver! Who else could understand my heart's desires any better than the one who placed them there? I walked away with a heavy burden lifted!

There was awesome worship by some popular Worship Leaders and the workshops gave awesome ideas and tips for ministry. But walking away with newfound joy was incredible!

Life Doesn't Start 5 Pounds from Now

I ran across a book called, "Life Doesn't Start 5 Pounds from Now!" and it really caught my eye. How true it is for my life! Not just talking about the weight issue, although that applies to me as well.

I thought life would start when I graduated from high school. I got to college and I thought life would start when I got married. Matt put a ring on my finger and I'm still thinking When the heck is life going to start? Trust me, I'm not to the point where I say "Kids!" is when my life will start...no grandkids in our family for a while!!

I was laying in bed last night listening to Matt talk in his sleep and I looked around my room and kind of had one of those How did I get here? moments. Not that I am not excited about where or who I am right now, but it sort of creeped up on me quickly!

I guess I am realizing that we never arrive. There will never be a point in our lives where we have achieved all the we want to. We will never do all that we ever dreamed for ourselves. So why wait? Why am I waiting for 5 pounds from now or even 5 minutes? I should be seizing every moment and experience I have!
What are we waiting for?