Thursday, August 16, 2007

Patience is a virtue...

that I do not necessarily find very easy to possess. I am ashamed to say that Matt has been a victim of my impatience and irritation on more than one occasion. (sorry babe!) I was looking through my pictures on my computer and I came across a photo that instantly reminds me of how impatient and critical I can be.

Yes, this photo may seem unassuming and weird, but it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it! Here's the little story behind it...Matt and I were driving home from the Thirsty Conference in Atlanta, GA. It was about midnight so we pulled over for one last stop before we drove another few hours to Indianapolis to stay with my family. I sat in the car waiting for Matt for what seemed like 20 minutes (I'm sure it was 5, but at midnight things get distorted). I began to get worried. I tried going inside, but the door was locked and the lady told me, "I'm sorry but we are closed!" I tried explaining to her that my husband was inside the bathroom but she was adamant that no one was inside the gas station beside her and her coworker. I started freaking out...I was sitting in the middle of nowhere, at midnight, in my car alone and had no idea where Matt was...I was sure he had been killed!

After a few moments, I decided to go in a plead with the lady to let me just check the bathrooms. She was really frustrated with me and once again reminded me that they were closed but I could go check.

I go back and knock on the mens restroom and hear Matt say "Someone is in here!" I tried yelling through the door to let him know that the gas station was closed and he needed to hurry it along. I go back to tell the lady that yes, indeed my husband is in the bathroom. I am beginning to feel very antsy and frustrated as she gives me a dirty look. Out comes Matt; he walks up to me and asks me for my camera. My camera! Its midnight, the lady is mad at me, I thought he was dead and he is asking for my camera!?!?! I asked him why and he told me he wanted to take a picture for a sermon illustration. I couldn't imagine what he would want to take a picture of in that gross gas-station bathroom.

I handed over the camera (letting him know how upset I was) and stormed out to the car. A few moments later, he came out and showed me this photo. A photo of a dear in a forest. He thought it was funny because this pretty framed picture was in a gross gas-station bathroom. I was steaming! For the rest of the car ride, you could cut the tension with a knife...and it was all my fault!

I could have been more flexible and I could have explained to him what was going on. I could have been relieved to know my husband was alive. I could have decided not to care what the lady thought of me...but instead I lashed out on my husband. I learned a lot that night.

I haven't perfected patience and grace by any means, but Matt is really challenging me in that area of my life. And I think that is what marriage is all about! Challenging each other in their faults, but loving them just the same! In those moments, I get so frustrated that Matt is challenging me, but at the same time I am really glad he isn't letting me stay the same.

4 comments:

  1. Haha,I had a similar revelation yesterday so,this morning, my prayer was," let me be humble enough to accept my husband's constructive critisism and not be defensive and help me be able to discuss issues without crying!"

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  2. hahaha! That is awesome...do you mind if I borrow your prayer! I need to pray that one myself!

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  3. However difficult it is for you, it's always cool to know that I have adults to look up to who know how to admit what they struggle with. Thanks.

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  4. That's a great story! Makes me laugh. All women do that. Why do we think they are dead when we don't know where they are?!?
    Why do guys really not care if they are taking their time?
    Also, at least your losing patience before kids! I am way more laid back about stuff because of my kids.
    great post!

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