Please answer each question honestly, bearing in mind that while it is impossible to fail this test, your answers may determine where you'll spend the night.
1. When you are wrong, you will admit it to your partner:
A. Within seconds.
B. Just as soon as cows produce root beer.
C. Usually before sunset.
2. On your most recent vacation, you:
A. Strolled sun-soaked beaches barefoot, then basked in the glow of each other's eyes.
B. Left messages on each other's answering machines.
C. Had to come home for a rest.
3. Which of the following most accurately describes the frequency of your love-making?
B. Try weakly
C. Try weekly
4. Complete this sentence: I believe the Children of Israel wandered in the wilderness for 40 years because:
A. God was testing their marriages.
B. Moses didn't pay attention when his wife was giving directions.
C. Moses wanted everybody to appreciate the Promised Land once they got there.
5. When you're watching TV together, who controls the remote?
A. We do not watch television; we go for walks and talk about our feelings.
B. I do.
C. Whoever gets it first.
6. The food that best sums up your spouse's kiss:
A. Red-hot chili peppers
B. Airline omelet
C. Hot apple pie
7. The movie title that best sums up your sex life:
A. Some Like It Hot
B. Gone with the Wind
C. As Good as It Gets
8. (For men only.) You've just bought a late-model minivan, complete with CD player. The phone rings. It's your frenzied wife calling from Biff's Auto Repair to tell you she has totalled the van. You:
A. Ask if she's okay.
B. Total the telephone.
C. Ask if she's okay—and if the CD player still works.
9. (For women only) After a particularly tough day, your husband has crashed in front of the TV set. You decide to:
A. Stand beside the TV set and try on lingerie.
B. Put fiberglass insulation in his pajamas.
C. Pour two tall ginger ales and crash with him.
10. Your definition of communication is:
A. I am attentive to my partner's communication needs. I listen well and share openly my thoughts, aspirations, and feelings.
C. Sorry, I was distracted. Could you repeat the question?
11. It's 12:30 a.m. and neither of you can sleep. Your spouse says, "Honey, I'm hungry. Would you get me a slice of cheese?" You say:
A. "Is that all, sweetheart? How about a salad with croutons?"
C. "Swiss or cheddar?"
How to score:
If you answered "A" more than six times, thanks for taking this quiz during your honeymoon. We wish you all the best in the years ahead. If you found yourself gravitating to the "B" responses, take an aspirin and resubscribe to Marriage Partnership in the morning. Also—find a soft pillow. You'll need it on the couch.
If you chose "C" five or more times, you've got a good thing going.
Collect 10 bonus points if you also answered "A" more than once. Sounds like some flexibility, lots of laughter, and a servant heart are keeping your marriage fresh.
Now, break out the ginger ale. It's time to try weekly!